Memories and Baguio

dear team,

I dont know if you guys realised it, but 2 days back, on the 2nd of June, Friendster sent an alert saying that "Mark Louie's birthday is today!".... That only hit me today... somehow... I remember that we bought M.Louie a box of donuts from dunkin donuts, cost us abt 120 pesos if im nt wrong... and we ate the donuts in the living room of Cambridge. Thereafter, we spoke to Jhay-ar for quite some time and learnt about his sad past.

This morning, a sense of nostalgia overwhelmed me as i was speaking to Eug. And we remembered that we this (the early part of June) was about the time that he first joined us, and how we left for Baguio soon after... where the large part of our memories as a true team of 4 began... Baguio and Olongapo. I remember vividly the cockcroach brave eugene killed with his bare hands not too long after he arrived. I remember 4 of us and K.Randy at the interchange waiting to board the bus to baguio (2000 Pesos per person!) and i remember seeing rach reading Screwtape letters (her belated bday gift from me.) and Eug writing non-stop all the way to Baguio and how we talked about r/s issues. I rem Ate Chat, that petite but powerful lady who was such a delight to be with, picking us up the afternoon we arrived. And and... i rem that lovely sunset which is still the best i've ever seen, beaming brightly and proudly at our balcony...=)) The photos we took. They are precious to me. And those two dumb girls from my team who bathed in cold water (hohoho). And the wrestlign matches that we watched so i could learn some powerful finishing moves n practise them on rach! While we went through some tough moments in Baguio. In the end, we came through as a team. I am proud of us.

I miss the Philippines. truly. It is time to consider a visit back again...=)

With Love,
Den

twenty-one.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHEL-CARROT!
here are your photos :)
and now, a note for you.
you stand at a threshold, with 21 years behind you and as many more ahead that God has planned for you. You might be uncertain, and certainly the past looks more solid. But look, God has lit a pathway for you to walk on. It's narrow, its long, and difficult to walk on. But ahead lies Him revealed in all His glory.
Happy birthday Rach, keep walking towards Him.
-pea.

awesome. i claim first post of the new year.

I read through just about every post we wrote. Tangible shifts, changes in tone, in mood, in frames of minds. We have come from a long time ago.

Remember the days when we were wild and chock full of loud laughter? Where every joke was hilarious, and we couldn't get enough of categorising each statement into Medfac, or science, or Arts. And the arts people could never get a joke wrong. Maybe the fact that we were also the girls had something to do with it.

Remember the camp? Incredibly good memories, incredibly deep ones. The ice was first broken there, we first defined how we saw each other. The repressed onion buried under cement, the cat + girl with both extremes in her + person with many layers, the final of which is a bomb. The singing of christmas carols under the lovely building, the talks and sharings under the long corridors. Do you remember? The night of dancing on the hotel bed. haha. The attempt to cross the river with each other on our backs, pea and I screaming while we desperately hold pinkys while sliding off the guys, denden's heroic boom of LET'S GO PEOPLE. ayy. Some things are worth revisiting.

Remember the fights we happily entered in the philippines itself? Flinging ourselves on denden, jumping away because we knew that if he grabbed our hands we would be helpless and our punishment would be a very painful, red waist. We did a post on it, by the way. It's the only one we wrote while in the philippines, if I got it right. That was the height of our team's abandonment of restraints- agreed? We were like children, trusting each other and loving one another. Even in pain.

Because we cried so much in that house. Seeing arvin's home, seeing ate lennie... Sometimes I didn't understand why I could not stop the tears. One of the girls at bahay na pagasha asked me too. Why do you cry for us? (when you are not from here, that was the implied question.) I couldn't answer. But do you know, when I was in thailand, I learnt a verse: 1st corinthians 12:26-

26: And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.

If there's something I learnt with jarring reality, this would be it. The body of Christ can, and Does feel for each other. Beyond geographical barriers. Or socio-economic backgrounds. Or even.. having a history together. We only knew arvin for a few days, and ate lennie barely hours, but we went on our knees to God all the same.





I look forward to wednesday. We are too special to be just friends.
God made us team mates, to bat for His side.

the end.

hey. mann it's been too long.
come to the end of the year and i find myself not knowing what to say.
we need to find a date to meet up, and catch up on one another.
we need to resume 19th prayer.

It's been a long time...

I forgot the user id...

I forgot the password...

That shows how long I've been away...

I stared at the screen, almost blankly....closed my eyes for a short while...they seem to come back...

The scenes...the photos...the laughters...the joy of being with friends, not just any friend, but 3 very special friends...the tune to our favorite song...

I remember the user id, I remember the password...

But more importantly, I remember the words of Pea as we left the Philippines "Let's not just leave with emotions, but with concrete lessons".... ....

Dear friends, it's indeed been a very long time we have met (other than Rachel's sms and Dennis call in the middle of my night call)...I've been well, been thru different phases of my course that has indeed left me thinking bout many matters of life, bout being a doc...the expectations and fears...It's been very tiring, the work and the struggles...but God's grace is indeed sufficient and His mercies beyond imagination...

Through these period of time, the Lord has challenged much of my fundimentals as a Christian, many assumptions I never wanted to face...situtations force me to face them...Haha, it's almost like the repercussions of MEET, the aftermath of that faith shaking experience...I won't say it's exactly enjoyable, but it has left me seeing the world in a different light...prayerful, in the eyes of Jesus Christ...

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. - Rom 8:28-30

Going thru such struggles almost seems like walking thru the Spiritual valley...there are times I wonder if I was a Christian. There were times I held onto a thin line of pure believe that I'm a son of God...Going thru such struggles, I wonder how can I share God's love with others, how can lead other bro n sis...I find ways to "get back the feeling", read the Bible more, pray more, listen to more Christian songs...but sth was still missing...my soul feels empty...

Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, [Jesus] said to them, "Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest." - Mark 6:31

The emptiness that only God can fill...He has left it empty for Himself...there was nothing I could do by my own strength, but only thru Him and in Him can I find the strength to carry on. In extreme shag-ness, i knelt in church, in the stillness of the service, I found myself calling out "Father, I am so useless, can't do anything...save me Lord, for I am Yours"....A cry of desperation, a cry for hope, and I could feel His presence, His Joy and His Comfort...He is my comforter and strength!!!! Praise His name!!!

I'm still on the journey of learning to humble myself, a journey began long ago, intensified in MEET...a journey I found myself crumbling before the throne of the Almighty...

Dear frenz on this jouurney with me, I thank you for your many encouragements and reminder of who I am, of who God is...I pray that this Christmas, you too would receive the special gift God has prepared for us, His Salvation and His Love...May the Love, Joy and Peace of our Lord be with you and your families.

Take care and God Bless

In Christ, Eugene

restrain me

Somewhere on facebook is a certain wall post which reads, "... are you staying a little longer to get pictures?i m thinking of staying till the 22nd or 23rd and going tothe slums/squatter like places to get a few shots;it'll be really interesting!"

and it's a furious trembling inside.

So you're going to the philippines to participate in their ultimate frisbee tournament. But "the slums/ squatter like places" are .not. bits of tin and wood tacked together for you to take pictures of.
These sites of depravation and poverty are .not. your camera's playground to whore out.
These spaces where mothers and fathers despair of earning even a pittance are .not. for your whim and fancy to "get a few shots"
to upload into your flicker account to show off your photography skills.

They are not. exotic lesser humans whose homes you can vouyuer. snoop around with the 18-200 VR you borrowed. Their lives are not for you to romanticise into blank-and-white stills or monochromes.

They don't choose to live in a slum. They don't decide that the best they can afford will be corragated iron situation beside a river of filth. They aren't living in rickety structures that might collapse soon for want of a few pesos for you with the 18-200 VR. No, not you.

These are homes of pain borne out of man's corruption and they are real. They suffer because of corpulent, abhorrent government officials who siphon money. These are actual families and they are real. Mothers who borrow desperately to make ends meet, fathers who drink and gamble, wide-eyed children in rags- Because of man's evil and not placed there for you to take artistic photos.

Are you going to change their lives?
Are you taking "a few shots" to champion their cause?
Are you doing this because you plan to make a difference?

"i m thinking of staying till the 22nd or 23rd and going tothe slums/squatter like places to get a few shots;it'll be really interesting!"

uhh

it wasn't rachel who washed her hair with facial soap, by the way.