jubilee and the kingdom

dear teammates,

you have been on my mind for the past few days now. i've never been so far from all of you, not since we first came together. new zealand, singapore, canada x 2 but still so far apart. it messes my mind somewhat to realise we're so far away from each other.

just so you guys know, i'm living in karori, a suburb in wellington. i've been attending karori baptist church, and recently started using their group discussion material as my qt guide. it's titled '50 days of jubilee'. since then, i've been brought back to daily reflections on the kingdom and i have questions i don't know how to answer. i want you guys with me.

i've been having problems reconciling Self, and the denial of Self. the following question is clumsy, but it's the best phrasing i have-
if God made us as individual souls, why should we deny our Selves?

if God made me, gifted me and knows that i take pleasure in certain things, why do i have to deny them?
As an example: dancing.
I know the arguments against clubbing (and I do believe them; I’ve seen and experienced them), but. For all that, for all the burnt fingers and bitten times there’s this part of me that still thinks it’s okay (as far as okay connotes vagueness and gray truth) to be slinking to beats, with bodies all around. Compelling rhythm affects the body, and the body just wants to fit into the music.
Why is it wrong, what went wrong, what is wrong with the night life in the perspective of God's kingdom?
If God made me, and i enjoy dancing to music, why should i deny that?
Yet sometimes there are consequences. and these can be so insidious, and so lasting, sometimes. And that’s the way it is about sin, isn’t it. Somewhere along the way perfectly sound reasons get twisted, and I don’t know where it happened in the dark alley. Is something alright, as long as we had fun and nothing drastic happened, just a piss or two at cars and half-remembered contortions and so much laughter, at a drunken night on a drunken playground.
how do i resolve this?

Secondly (and finally, and linkedly), a question from the book:
If fellowship with God through Jesus Christ is vital, then how do we indwell that fellowship and how does our abiding in Jesus relate to our bearing the image of God and advancing Jubilee?

That question took me so long to answer. And even then, I have more questions than an answer. I don't know, but this is what i have:
1) By remembering our relative positions?
2) through thawking away at the securely seated dirt.
we start to want His wants more. (when will i get there.)
3) God's grace for me and He's done it all.
(then why do i feel so obliged? have i spent too long away?)